Yesterday was the last day of classes for spring semester.
I have no rule or generalization to draw from this statement. Each year comes to an end in a different way, and this is the 33rd year I’ve done this.
I can only speak to one constant. It has to do with students, and it usually turns out more or less the same. Some of them I will miss after this semester. Others I hope will start to get serious about what they are doing. I hope that I’ve given them some small measure of motivation to move forward. But I also will try to move forward myself. And I can because I think I understand the relatively small influence I can actually have on others as a teacher. I know that there is all sorts of propaganda coming from Hollywood and other places that heroic teachers make a difference in the lives of every student. Heroic teachers save their students. I think I believed some part of that when I started teaching.
But now, I also know this. I have my students for three hours a week for 15 weeks of their lives. In terms of the last four months, that’s three out of 168 hours of their time every week. During the same period, they are taking in other influences, from gaming to parties to other students (who matter more to them than teachers) to parents and other teachers.
If I get even more honest about this and understand how little that three hours I get for fifteen weeks actually is in terms of their whole lives, my time with them is fleeting. I know neither the beginning or the end of their stories. I am among countless professionals they will have dealt with. I always hope that something done or said in class will be the something they need to take with them. But I also am ready to let go.
The Current Philosophy
I know. What I’ve just written can interpreted as a matter of having low self-esteem, and that I should believe and do the best I can, and the magic will come. Or I should get out of teaching. But I am not a fool. I know the limitations we face as teachers. I have learned to focus on how students learn. I won’t be able to get to know them fully. But I can know, almost immediately, how they learn and what impedes them. And then I can work with them where they are at.
Part of literacy learning has to do not only with encoding and decoding text at a most basic level, but also recognizing propaganda when we hear it. This is sometimes referred to as “critical thinking.” So this is what I focus on, not the teacher-hero narratives of most Hollywood movies. I don’t set myself up to be a guru for anyone’s life story because, after all, I’m not going to know them for very long.
And as for the current run of propaganda, I am not going to praise my students effusively for the little they do. Certainly, the self-help industry has invaded business, education, Hollywood, and every other branch of human striving, but not much evidence exists to support its dogmas as effective teaching methods.
I am also not cynical. I have statements my teachers made that still influence me. I know that there will be students I’ve helped or encouraged or opened up something new to. I’m grateful for that.
But it is time to close the book on Spring, 2019. Next week, we have finals. Then I do grades. And then I turn to a summer of healing, during which I will make plans to do things better next time. The next time will be Fall, 2019. I will try to change things for the better.
This is how I try to keep going.
Thank you for reading. Have a good summer.